Luvin' every minute of it

Ahhh luv..

I (almost) forgot just how
great a sensation you are.
Almost, but.. not quite.
Yesterday, I slept soundly
in my usual daylight hours,
that I missed my baby's
four calls. Mid-afternoon
attempts at returning them
proved futile, as I had run
out of the required load.
Shite.

Navigating a new (?)phone is
always a bitch. Can I just
say that, it's twice the bitch
for cheap China knockoffs.
I'm slowly convinced that
impulse purchase was totally
uncalled for.
But, I'm rambling and
getting derailed again.

It's great to be in love again.
I know how frommage-y that
sounds, and its vomit-worthy
propensity to make you
hurl your cookies;
but fuck..
we're talkin' about me here.
After the tumultuous upheaval
that was my last so-called
relationship, I, like I said,
almost forgot..
..until she rescued me.

Funny thing is..
I didn't want to be rescued,
at first.
I thought I was being strong
like that. That I could weather
any and all storms.
That I could
let my pride and ego be
my divining rod through the
parched, barren, and scorched
steppes of planet heart,
burned beyond recognition to the
tenth degree..
I was beyond healing.
Or so I thought.
Or felt.
There were attempts to
reach out; to be touched, by her.
But I was yet beyond reasonable
comprehension.
Or perhaps, I comprehended,
but could not reason
with myself.

But, something happened.

It's not like I didn't
make attempts of my own,
to reach out;
to others.
But they didn't have the
right "feel."
Somehow, you know.
You go in, you get into
something, and you just know..
somehow, it doesn't feel right.
Pursuing Office girl was
definitely, absolutely
out.. of.. the.. question.
Interoffice affairs are a no-no.
Scratch that.

More so for Office girl 2.
She sounds like a b-movie sequel (lol)..
in reality, she was choice #1.
But she, too, was a no-no.
She was already attached,
thus unavailable.
Scratch two.

Then, there was Office girl's friend.
That didn't feel quite right, either.
Y'know the feeling, judging from
her likes, you just know that
a quick note comparison will
tell you she is soooo not for you.
A beer-swilling party girl-type
was never what my
future gf'd look like.
Not in my wildest imagination.
And, I have had some wild imaginings,
believe you me.

Then, there was Call center girl.
This spelled longshot, from the get-go.
And I do mean loooooooooooooooooongshot.
How long?
How far is the moon?
That long.
She was the friend of a friend.
The latter friend, being the younger sis
of a good friend.
The connections itself, were haywire.
Suffice it to say, this had adios
written all over it.
< shakes head, smiling >

Not that I was running out of options.
The world was my oyster.
But, turns out..
there was only one apple of my eye.
And I had not known it yet;
even if this apple hit me smack
dab in the proverbial blind eye.
I don't believe in epiphanies.
So.. I won't call it one.
Revelation, perhaps..

I'd be a total hypocrite
if I'd say I hadn't thought of
us being together.
I mean, we were well on our way.
Albeit haphazardly.
But, I said I wasn't ready..
that I couldn't give what I didn't have.
And I meant it.
But deep inside, there was something.
I knew it.
She knew it.
I guess, it was just
a matter of time.
But, her being her..
she did not have the
luxury of time.
Or so she said.
She's anal like that.
I, on the other hand,
can't say I had the
luxury of time.
I just didn't know a
timer was ticking..
and that my heart was
an improvised explosive
device like that.

To make a long story short,
whenever I thought of her,
everything seemed to feel right.
As in, right as rain.
Spot-on.
On target.
Bullseye.
A one-hit kill.
Not so much a headshot,
but.. a heartshot.

And spending more time with her
opened my eyes; and inevitably,
my heart, as well.
Do I regret having held back and
waited.
No.
I think it actually helped.
Do I regret having thrown caution
to the wind.
Did that sound like a complaint?
Do cows eat grass?

Needless to say,
we're no longer two people.
We're a couple now.
We're no longer two.
We are one.

And I wouldn't want to
have it any other way.
And I know neither would she.

I love you, babe.

G.U.T.I.

I did not know
what you were about
Something called "love"
made me wanna find out
I did not think
you could ever care
But I'm outta control
coz you're takin' me there

I couldn't believe
our love would last
It's comin' on stronger,
comin' on so much faster

Get used to it
coz I'll be around
Yeah ya better get used to it
All my love

Get used to it,
don't let me down
You pulled me in,
so don't turn me around
You didn't hesitate
and told me just how you feel
There ain't no mistake,
this time it's for real

I'll be around you
Because
I'm crazy about you
I'll be around you, baby
You know
I can't live without you
I'll be around ya, baby
Because
I'm hungry for your love

Get used to it
All our love.

Mirror's edge

We mirror each other now.
Yet somehow, we don't.
Facing each other, there are
similarities; yet, many differences.
But as she succinctly noted,
we are the puzzle pieces that fit.
Together.

And like her,
I, too, share a certain fear.
A fear of measuring up.
Of maintaining some semblance of
balance between the forces and
elements in our new and as yet
precarious world.
It's a work in progress.
My hopes are that we remain
harmonious, humble in our attempt
at making things work.

Still, the fear remains.
A tinge of apprehensiveness;
of making mistakes, of offense.
Unintentional, and hopefully, never
otherwise.

Yet, I am hopeful.
We are headstrong.
She knows what she wants.
I know what we want.
We know what we want.
And we want this.
We want it to work.
Coz we want this.

Flaws

I have my share.
Who doesn't.
But, never mind
the rest.
This is about moi.
My fault?
In so many words..

I'm a spoiler.

I lavish my lady love
with stuff.
Which shouldn't be.
Or should it?
Who knows?
But, I'm like that.
I have been, ever since.
And, it's spelled disaster.

Could it be more than
just spoiling?
Could it be I'm too much of a..
nice guy?

Is there such a thing as
being a too-nice guy??
I'm not lifting my own bench here,
I'm not trying to boast;
just calling it as it is.
Not that it's a good thing;
I think it is, and
at the same time, it isn't.

Perhaps I should balance it out.
Easier said than done.
Coz when I fall for someone,
I fall hard.
And all of a sudden,
I go out of my way to do
nice things for this someone.
Excuse me..
special someone.
Then, the cycle begins.
Caught up in the rapture.
The throes of passion.
But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Methinks, I should rethink.
Though I know it's gonna be hard,
a modicum of caution is in order.
Coz I threw caution to the wind..
but sensibility shouldn't
go along with it.

It's hard.
But I'll try.

A song

It's not just a song.
It's possibly the song.

There are countless other songs I can think of, that have
mattered over the years; with landmark events that bolstered
their significance.

Yet, this one, like most unexpected occurences,
good things included, happen to pop up, literally out-of-the-blue.

As random as it cued itself in my music player one fine day,
the message hit home, somehow.
And helped this careening cynic
fall off the edge..
and into the deep end.

Willingly.

Thanks, Bob.

You are here and warm
But I could look away
And you'd be gone
Coz we live in a time
When meaning falls in splinters
from our lives
And that's why I've travelled far
Coz I come so together
Where you are

You are here today
But easily
you might just slip away
Coz we live in a time
Where paintings
have no color
Words don't rhyme
And that's why I've travelled far
Coz I come so together
Where you are

Yes, and all of things I said
that I wanted
Come rushing by in my head
when I'm with you
Fourteen joys
and a will to be merry
All of the things
that we say are very

Sentimental gentle wind
Blowing through my life again

Sentimental lady
Gentle one

Speechless..

No two words strung together can possibly
explain just how I feel right now..
But let's give it a try..
Uhm..

Nervous excitement..
(A bit, maybe)

Butterfly attack..
(Hmm perhaps)

Deep end..
(Getting warmer)

In love..
That's better.

So much so, that I've almost
(almost, but not quite)
forgotten just how good it feels.

Thanks, love.

Bow

Had this happened sometime
last year, throwing a hissy fit
as such, I would have dismissed
this, and made, as she likes to
say, an early retreat.

Could it be because I get it, now?
Or should I say.. I get her, now.
I did tell her once that..
< and I quote myself here >
".. what were once complaints,
are now compliments.."

I thank you.

< bow >
< exit stage left >