If I don't let this out, I feel like my heart's going to explode..
it's so riveting, so frustrating, so many different things I'm feeling
right now, I don't know which one to feel, or when one ends and another
begins.

I just don't know what to feel anymore..

The anxiety level is so incredibly great, just thinking about things
is enough to crush my head like a proverbial melon.. nervousness, tension,
it's weakening.. draining..

I just want to break down, crawl curled-up into a corner and quietly
whimper in tears.. and the worse thing about it is.. i don't know, i don't
know, i don't know, i don't know.. I don't know so many things I need
to know..
It's like disengaging an improvised explosive device, where one false move,
and everything you know gets blown to bits.

I wish I knew what I could do..

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Sigh..

The past few days have been delightfully wonderful, to say the least.
Spending time with someone who means the most to you is nothing short
of the best. You wish every moment could be frozen in time, everything
coming to an Inception-like halt, freezing everything in its place,
except for the two of you. Living within the warm embrace of the other,
her every kiss, cherishing every gaze into her eyes,
while the whole world stands still.

But time marches on, and these moments come and go; but the feelings live on,
taking on a life of their own, in our hearts. And though those past few days
were my happiest after a long time, puzzling questions remain.

Where are we at right now? Where do we go from here?

My heart leapt, and continues so.
Anxious, questioning, not confused but rightfully puzzled.
I know in my heart I shouldn't rush.
And I won't.
Should I let fate step in?
Leave it to the Universe to decide.
But, one thing's for sure.
I believe in love.
And I believe the words to this song
says what I want to say, and how I feel about you, Ella..

It's all because of you..

Don't stray
Don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
Don't let me drown
Let me down
I say it's all because of you

And here I go
Losing my control
I'm practising your name
So I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time
To tell you why
I say it's infinitely true

Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten
every afternoon

Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

Its all because of you
Its all because of you